*FUNDRAISING IDEA* Bid for ebay

There are no overheads with an ebay shop. Nice.

Goodness me – didn’t we get distracted for a while there?  However much I do enjoy a good Twitter spat, I think it’s probably time to get back to the main point of this blog – slating celebrities.

Oh no, shit. Hang on. I mean, helping to inspire new fundraising ideas.
(Fundraising, fundraising, fundraising, fundraising, fundraising…Ok. Aaaaand we are focused once more. Damn these idiotic celebs stealing all the limelight).

Seeing that we seem to have very rapidly been shown the power of the internet – and what can be achieved with a few mere social networking posts – here is a quick and easy little online idea that once set up, can be left running like Forest Gump throughout your fundraising period to help top up the pennies.

It even comes with its own app.

Yep, that’s right people, we have entered 2013.

So get donning a trilby, one of those kangaroo pouch type aprons, a pair of fingerless gloves and…yes, you’ve guessed it – set up an Ebay shop. Except, don’t actually go donning a trilby, kangaroo pouch-type apron and fingerless gloves because it is completely unnecessary / a bit mental when everything is done from your computer.

So first thing – the most important part of any shop – the stock. Number one port of call: your very own wardrobe. That’s right. It’s time to get strict. It’s time to get serious. It’s time to get like those experts on the Channel 4 hoarders show that just throw everything in bin bags and constantly look disgusted.

“Do I really need that?” Sensible self must ask less rational self.

“Will I ever use it?” Sensible self must push.

“Are you sure you’re going to wear that multi-coloured technicolour dreamcoat again some day less rational self?” At which point – more sensible self should punch themselves in the face for failing to take control when such a purchase was made. Seriously – what the fuck?

Anyway, obviously don’t get really stupid about it and start selling items like your bed and duvet covers as that’s only going to cost you more money to  replace everything. But have a good clean out. It is spring, the season of clean outs.  So join in the good will of the spring season, and clean, clean clean. I find having a drink or 12 often helps. Not compulsory, just a suggestion. It’s a spring thing.

Ok, once you’ve formed a nice little / medium-sized pile,  it is time to hit the social networking plea for people to donate unwanted items to YOU. Facebook mainly – Twitter will probably be a bit too far-reaching geographically though heck, you can always live wildly and take a punt. Perhaps you’ll get lucky and someone either reasonably close or willing to post items will respond. Perhaps even Jameela Jamil will give you a retweet? She likes Twitter.

Offer to pick up items in your plea, empathasise that you will take ANYTHING and EVERYTHING and also highlight that you are HELPING ALL  to get ready for the summer with a jolly good spring clean out. Just think of the good karma that will fill the land.

Then the fun bit. Or actually, if I am being honest, the really dull bit; uploading all your “stock” to ebay. If you just set yourself a few hours on the weekend, throw on a really great, sing-along pop album (I am rather partial to a bit of Rihannaaa-na-na-naaa myself) and crack on with it, it shouldn’t be too bad. And at least once it is up there you can just keep relisting the items until they (hopefully) sell. If you have more time / want to be a bit more creative – you could try what I often do and personify the item – it’s always got me a good response. For example:

“Hello. My name is brown jumper and I am a brown jumper. My previous owner no longer wants me because she says I shrunk. I think this is bullshit however. She thinks I can’t see her sitting there, shoving crisps in her mouth as she watches TV from my hanger in the wardrobe – but she’s wrong. There’s a crack – and I’ve seen it all. What a fatty. Anyway, the point is I’ve been watching my figure and still, if you don’t mind me saying, look bloody good. I mean – I cost £50 originally so I’m no cheap throwover! I don’t smoke, hang around with animals, and have only let her wear me a couple of times so no stretch marks. Anyway, I need a new home ASAP with someone who gets me, someone who’s gonna show me off and treat me right. Please, I beg you, she’s reaching for another doughnut – the sugar can do crazy things to her head like make her think she can still fit in me.  Do it – bid now – and you’ll never spend a cold night – or day – alone again…

Ok, you don’t have to do it exactly like that. Though if you do please link me up – it does amuse. Like these Amazon reviews in fact – HA – amazing. So getting me some BICs for Her.

Last point – you can always go the additional mile and see if the local paper will run a wee appeal for you (wee as in small – not urine. Urine will be unlikely to sell on ebay. At least you’d think…? No one would buy urine – surely? Hmm, I wonder… ok, give me a week – I’ll get back to you with a confirmed answer). For those freaking out about how to approach the paper – I am planning a super special blog on press releases  SOON. Exciting I know, do stay tuned.

And that’s all folks – happy ebaying!

**** NB – Be aware going to the paper may be seen as treading on the toes of local charity shops a bit (i.e. they get pissed off that you’re taking what they see as their items. I know, I know, the old charity warfare is a terrible thing but these are tough times). There really isn’t anything wrong with going to the paper, it’s just something to consider. If you’re not ready for battle, then probably best to stick with social networking friends / associates / person you met once in Burger King on a drunken night out. It’s up to youuuuu.